The (almost) daily account of my wedding planning

Day 1 - The ring

Day 2 - The relatives

I spent most of today informing my closest relatives (about 4 billion aunts, uncles, and cousins) of my happy news. I wasn't expecting this to be anything stressful. I just wanted to share my good news and let them smile at me lovingly. This, however, was not to be. With a few exceptions, these people really stressed me out. Everyone wanted to know details. The only details I knew were "outside" and "sometime in October." This wasn't good enough, they wanted to know more. I realized that I had quite a bit of work to do. And, of course, everyone had to tell me there was absolutely no way I could have the kind of wedding I wanted in such a short amount of time. Hm. Thanks.

Now, I know my family means well. I know they're just looking out for what they believe to be my best interests. But being told I can't do something only makes me want to do it more. It's the principle of the thing. I can plan the wedding I want in three months, I'm just not sure how. I have a lot to think about.

Day 3 - The list

Day 4 - The dress

I knew what kind of dress I wanted. I had pictures of styles I liked, and I went in with a somewhat open mind. I had limited my options, but not too much. I handed the pictures to the salesperson and she began pulling dresses that matched that style. I tried on several, narrowed it down to three, then two. Then Amy, one of my maids of honor, had to be called in to help. She left work to come help cast the deciding vote, bless her heart. I chose my wedding dress in less than three hours. We then took it to be altered. I'm a bit nervous about leaving my beautiful new dress with this total stranger, but she seemed nice and the store recommended her, so I'm trying not to worry.

I'd love to describe my dress, but I know Brian's reading this, and he doesn't get to know what it looks like until he sees me in it. So I'll only say what he already knows: it's beautiful and it's not white.

Day 4 - part 2 - The breakdown

Day 5 - The recovery... the emergence of CHIME

I realized that the biggest problem facing me at the moment is my lack of a place to hold this thing. We can do the ceremony at the farm (where he proposed, aww how sweet). But I absolutely do not want to have an outside reception in October. So I need a place for that. If I can find a place for the reception, that will also help with the guest list. I can tell mom "This is the amount of people they can accomodate. You may invite one third of that amount."

This will also help me with the date. I'm trying to stay flexible, because I know I can't be too picky on such short notice. Debbie made some calls for me yesterday and said people laughed in her face (over the phone) when she said 300 people, this October. Stress! The problem here is the wedding industry wants you to think it takes a year to plan. Those of us who choose to take less time are hindered by this fabricated timeline. However, if I were just planning a regular old party, I'd be commended for planning so far in advance.

Thus the emergence of CHIME, the super-hero side of me. The one who gets things done. The one who escalates if necessary. I began by cracking open the phone book and calling every place I could think of that might have space for a wedding reception. But I didn't tell them it was for a wedding. I simply said it was a "party." I was met with very favorable results. I called everywhere! The library (they have an art gallery), Transy (where I went to school), even the local children's museum (how fun!).If I was told no space was available in October, I asked for other ideas and phone numbers. I worked the phones for a few hours and lined up several prospective places. I felt great!

We went to look at the children's museum this afternoon. I thought it looked like a lot of fun, and the space was enormous. Brian was doubtful. I have to admit that the meeting room, where the food would be, was shabby. The guy we talked to promised that they were renovating in September, and that it would be beautiful by October. We're not so sure. It would be a memorable place for our reception, but are those the kinds of memories we really want?

Day 6 - The place

Day 7 - The invitations

Day 8 - The friends

Day 9 - The registry

Day 10 - The photographer

So anyway mom and I went to talk to the photographer today. General stuff, wedding photos are pretty generic (whole party, my side, his side, family, etc.) But he did have an idea I hadn't heard before. The problem with wedding photos is no one wants to do them all before the ceremony because of the whole superstition thing. He noted that this really is just superstition, and it's not the best way to go about things anyway since the groom doesn't really get a good first view of the bride, what with all the people standing up in the way and all. His suggestion was to set it all up way before hand, have the groom where he'll be, and have my own private walk down the aisle just for him. How sweet. That would make it so much more personal. You still get to have that moment of revelation or whatever, plus you can talk and exchange little gifts and just have a quiet moment alone together before the whole gala begins. This is great for the photographer too, because he can take all the wedding party pictures before the ceremony. And your guests don't have to stand around for an hour waiting while you take your pictures. Seems like a nice idea.

Day 11 - The Officiant

Day.. um.. 13? - The florist

Day 14 - The invitations (part 2 - The return of the envelope liners)

Day 15 - The registry (part 2 - My new friend Peg)

Day 16 - Back to work

There David! Sorry to have kept you in suspense. I fear the delays will only become more frequent now that school's starting, but I'll try my best to keep you all (and y'all) informed.

Day 21 - The Tuxes

We drove to another store and were greeted at the door by a very nice girl. She was incredibly helpful and in no time Brian had chosen the tuxes and necessary accessories. More expensive than I thought they would be, but they look cool. Brian went with a "euro tie" instead of a traditional bowtie. They're these sleek necktie things that pouf out at the top and seem to be wrapped very tightly. Glad I don't have to figure out how to put it on. I thought "euro-tie" was just a horrible name, so we're calling them Kensington ties instead (that's the name of the neighborhood where we stayed when we were in London).

Day 22 - The Kickass Cake

So we poured over about a million cake books and decided what we wanted. It was a tough decision, too, because there are just so many neat cakes in these books. We kept getting distracted by huge pumpkins, alligators, and various cartoon characters. Brian really wanted a fountain that poured rum, but I don't think we're going to do that. Maybe for an anniversary cake? There are some wack things that people can create with sugar, flour, and eggs! So I put the whole mess in Sandra's capable hands with minimal guidelines and just the direction to "make it pretty." And she will. :)

September 24, 1999 - Many Updates

The Shower(s)

Let's face it, people love a good reason to party. One would think that the actual wedding itself would be party enough, but oh no! People insist on buying us dinner and giving us more presents. Remind me again why this is a bad thing? For some reason I didn't want to have a lot of pre-party parties. But so far I've attended three, with about eight more to go. And it's not that bad, really. The first shower I had was the traditional bridal shower, attended mostly by family members and people in the wedding party. It was a odd, almost tribal, ritualistic sort of gathering. Seriously, all of the village women gathered around talking and eating and doing these ceremonial sorts of things. I nearly expected a small sacrifice or something. I don't know why this struck me as odd, I've been to tons of bridal showers. I guess it's just that I've never been the guest of honor at one, it's a new perspective.

Anyway, there were all sorts customs that seemed odd. Like the ribbon-breaking thing. Legend (or rumor or whatever you want to call it) has it that the number of ribbons broken when opening bridal shower presents indicates how many children the couple will have. But those silky ribbons that department stores use on packages are impossible to break. Allison told me that people have been known to score the ribbons with a razor blade prior to giving the presents just so the ribbon will break. Odd.

And then there's the bow bouquet. (what is it with people and ribbons anyway?). So after you've broken or not broken the ribbons, the're supposed to be used to make a bouquet, to be carried at the rehearsal. Who came up with this? I've found out a lot about wedding customs lately, but not much seems to have been written about shower customs. Nevertheless, I must say I've never felt more loved. There's a nice feeling of security in being surrounded by family and friends (and the fact that they're giving you things doesn't hurt either). It wasn't bad at all.

The Ceremony

We're writing our own ceremony, as many of you may know. We began putting it together and realized that it was going to be a challenge. Now I see why so many people go with the traditional ceremony. It's difficult to express your heartfelt feelings without sounding cheesy or fake. It's also hard because we know that, if we're not very careful, we're going to offend a large portion of our audience... well maybe not "offend" but I know questions will be asked. Oh well. you can't please everyone. You're all curious now, aren't you?

The Invitations (Part 2)

After many labor-intensive hours, we finally mailed out all of our invitations, or so we thought. This is how mothers sneak in those extra guests they couldn't fit onto their origional lists... for weeks after we kept hearing "Oh, I forgot to send an invitation to this person," "Could you send one to these people?" and so on. And then there's the fact that people who weren't even sent an invitation (but felt they should have been) are adding themselves to the list. I have family in Michigan, distant, distant relatives. I'm fairly close to one of them, though, so I sent her an invitation (and included her parents). They got their invitation, I guess told the rest of the family up there, and now they're *all* coming! Umm... hello? Was your name on the invitation? No!

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't mind having these people at the wedding, but they've invited themselves (and their children - but let's not go there). I don't mind an extra guest here and there. If someone wants to bring a date and the date's name wasn't on the invitation, that's fine. If I didn't know that great aunt Mildred got remarried again and she's bringing her new husband and his kid, that's fine. But seven people! Seven people have invited themselves!

Breathe.

It's not a big deal. It will all be fine. Everyone will have a great time and I won't notice those extra seven people. I'm really not as bothered by this as I appear to be. We're not having a formal sit-down dinner or anything like that. So numbers aren't as crucial. The important thing is that the friends and family we most care about are there to celebrate with us.

On a side note, many thanks to those of you who promptly sent back your reply cards. And to those of you still sitting on yours... tick, tick... the deadline approaches. Remember my family in Michigan is vying for your spots.

The Big Day

I was determined to let nothing spoil this day for me, so I woke up early, played a little Playstation, met up with my maids of honor, and went to lunch. No stress. Brian went to Sandra's to get dressed, I got ready at the apartment (got some funny looks and waves driving to the farm with my veil on).

We took most of our pictures before the ceremony, to save time and give us a moment alone together before the mad rush of festivities. By now you all know I'm not that keen on tradition and once again practicality reigned. Pictures before hand made sense for me.

While we were in the midst of picture-taking, a minor crisis arose. The band arrived (yes I said band) and wanted to know where they could plug in. Umm... we're on a farm. There are no outlets. And weren't you guys supposed to be a string quartet? Seems our buddy Latina at the Lafayette Club either didn't care enough or didn't bother to take the time to tell us that the jazz band that would be playing at the reception was the same one who would be at the ceremony.

Casey and Allison saved the day. Really, delegation is the way to go. Brian's grandfather hooked up a generator, Casey used his dad's van to block the noise, and Allison gave our buddy Latina a little phone call. Latina's tip went to the very nice judge who showed up with several scripts (afraid we didn't have anything really planned).

And so it went. There was music, food, merriment, the loss of a voice (mine), and some guy in lobster pants (again, one of those uninvited guests). All in all, a nice day.

We went to Sandra's after the ceremony to hang out with the people who had come all this way (some across oceans) to see us. It was nice to unwind after such a busy day.

And that's it. It can be done, done well, and done with minimal stress. You just have to realize that the day is just a day, a special one, but one that you can manage. Delegate. Refuse to stress. Enjoy.

The Ceremony
Pictures